29 things we guys wish girls knew..
1.We aren’t mind readers!
2. We are not to be used as pawns in trying to make your girlfriends jealous.
3. Smoking is the biggest turn off.
4. If you don’t want to hear the truth, don’t ask the question.
5. “Fine” or “whatever” is not an appropriate ending to a conversation.
6. If you want sex, just ask. (In case you didn’t already know.)
7. No guy will complain if he comes home and sees you in one of the following outfits: French Maid, School girl, bunny, or just plain naked.
8. You don’t need lingerie to look sexy before bed, short cotton shorts and a tank top are fine by us.
9. Girls look good naked so stop worrying.
10. We are all kinky and willing to try anything that you may enjoy, just let us know.
11. Every so often no matter whether it is true or not remind us that we have the biggest penis you’ve ever dealt with.
12. Porn…hmmm…Porn. Watching porn is like breathing it would just be wrong to ask us to stop.
13. Blue balls are not sporting equipment. Didn’t your parents teach you not to quit.
14. Giving head is never a bad idea.
15. We don’t mind going to gay movies with you but don’t tell our friends.
16. You can’t hold it against us if we cry after sports movies or “Old yeller.”
17. “The game is on” is an acceptable excuse to avoid any serious conversation.
18. Any harsh contact with the testicles should be assumed a serious injury but soft caresses are strongly encouraged.
19. Brad Pitt is probably a cool guy but if I hear one more girl say “he’s so hot” he may have to die.
20. Your period should be referred to as Blowjob week. (Influenced by a Maxim article)
21. Cooking makes a girl that much more attractive especially if she can use a grill.
22. You can’t get mad if we refuse to hook up your “ugly friend” with one of our friends.
23. If we want to take naked pictures of you it is because we are proud and want to show you off to our friends.
24. Whip cream and chocolate syrup are not just condiments for ice cream also Altoids just don’t make your breath fresher.
25. Video games have helped us develop such finger skills that should only encourage us to play more often.
26. Critiquing our driving is only second to critiquing our love making.
27. Guys nights out are sacred events. If we answer questions we could be castrated.
28. If you ask us to go shopping you have to at least entertain the idea of having sex in a changing room.
29. 99.5% of the time we didn’t mean to hurt you.
Complaints as well as props should be emailed to The Man
I will miss talking to people on IM but there are some psycho ass people in the world and we’re not taking any chances.
We are too young to die.
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